Finding intimacy during the holidays as parents
In a child-free world, holidays are the perfect occasion for mammoth sex sessions, followed by cocktails by the pool, and more sex.
Taking a holiday with your family is something entirely different whether you are at home or visiting. In most cases, if you're not exhausted from chasing the kids around the pool all day, you'll be planning the next day's activities to keep them occupied. This inevitably leads to less intimacy.
It can be challenging for some couples during the holiday season to become intimate just because there are so many people in the house. There is almost no time for couples to spend alone or to be private when there are kids at home. Although most couples want to take advantage of the summer school holidays when they're off from work, they often overlook making time to be partners rather than parents, even for one night.
Nevertheless, it's vital that you find the time to be intimate with your partner in order to maintain your sanity, partnership, and family. Having a desire for intimacy, focusing on that goal, and planning is essential to find it in its various forms. Let me share some tips with you.
Go to bed together at night. Sleeping hours before or after your partner may result in you both being fast asleep by the time the other is ready for action.
Don't stay up late. Turn off the TV and go to bed once the kids are tucked in for the night.
Schedule in some time - Even though it seems unsexy to schedule sexy time, intimacy will almost certainly not happen if you don't. Consider setting aside some uninterrupted time with your significant other - perhaps at an intimate dinner - to discuss intimacy and why it's so important to the both of you. It is important to realize that sex is only one part of intimacy. Consider why intimacy matters, and consider what you expect of it. Keep in mind what you love about your partner and vice versa.
As a reminder, the summer holidays would serve as a great annual reminder to discuss this issue more often than once a year. When you're surrounded by daily chaos and demands, it can be easy to forget why you're together. Remind yourself of this especially if you are sick of nagging, have worries about money, wet towels on beds, and irritating mother-in-law chats.
Keep them entertained - You might want to plan a few playdates for the kids with their neighbours that are not at your home. That way you have some real alone time with your partner and can experiment more (and be more vocal) when the house is empty.
Hot tip!
You might want to try teasing each other before you have time alone after the kids are out of the house. In no time at all, the teasing will build up and you'll be ripping off each other's clothes in the most spectacular manner.
Your time is a priority - To be intimate, you need to agree on what that means. It is important that you both come up with different ideas and perspectives so you can achieve this goal - without involving the children in the process. Simple conversations between adults (not parents) could be enough. It may just be a post-dinner drink after the children have gone to sleep. A few nights out could include dinner, dancing, and fun. Or maybe a walk along the beach. If you don't have a lot of mutual interests, take turns choosing activities if you want to spend an afternoon together.
It’s all about the fun – Most importantly, have fun with one another again, do things you both enjoy, be present with each other. As a parent (and even if you're a stay-at-home parent), it can be easy to forget that you're more than that. Holidays are a time to relax and recharge your batteries. Part of that process involves reenergizing your relationship with your partner. Don't let the sexy times pass you by - make it happen and most of all, enjoy it!
It’s easy to forget that you’re more than a parent (and a worker – even if you are a stay-at-home mother). If you have forgotten that you’re more than that, how on earth can you realistically expect your partner to see you any differently? Holidays are meant to recharge your batteries and to offer you a break from your day-to-day. Reenergizing the relationship between you and your partner is part of that process. Make it happen and most of all enjoy it – bring on the sexy times!!
Most of all, have fun with each other again. Indulge in what makes you and your partner happy. Be present for yourself and each other. Make the most of that time and treasure it.