Buy Your Sex Toy With Confidence

The "Shame Free" Guide to buying a Sex Toy

In the post-sexual revolution world, you’d think a group of young, sexually active women wouldn’t start fidgeting in their seats at the mention of using sex toys. Didn’t cultural phenomena like “Sex and the City” and 50 Shades of Grey shed the awkwardness and prepare us for this?

It appears not: The general reaction I got when brought up the topic to various friends both single and in relationships were giggling and blushing ... but also curiosity. Sure, plenty of women have already tried sex toys - 44% of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a sex toy in one part of their life time. But what about the silent, intrigued majority who don’t know where to start?

Fact: Did you know the country with the highest percent of vibrator ownership is New Zealand - With 38-40% owning at least 1 or more vibrators!  

Before you know it you can find yourself walking into Nauti NZ's light and bright sex toys store or shopping online at, more like a high end fashion boutique where you will find yourself in adult toy land (for some) surrounded by vibrators, dildo's, cock rings and devices you may have never seen in your life.  

"The first rule of shopping for a sex toy is to loosen up and enjoy the ride" were not here to judge your needs we are here to help you satisfy your needs!! “When you go out to a restaurant, dessert is not necessary, but it sure is yummy when you have it. That’s how I think of sex toys. They’re just yummy enhancements.”

There are many types of sex toys such as vibrators, dildos, nipple toys, sexercises, cock rings and masturbation toys so the second step is deciding what you’re looking for.

Obviously, there’s quite a bit to sift through, so here’s what you need to know:

If you’re curious about sex toys, you need to get over your insecurities and fears.

For some women, the idea that “it’s not natural” bogs them down when it comes to sex toys, only a living, breathing partner is supposed to make you orgasm. Others are embarrassed or worried that a high-powered sex toy will make them desensitized to the human touch, rendering them only able to achieve orgasm with a sex toy. Men, on the other hand, tend to be threatened: "Don’t I satisfy you? Am I not a good enough lover that we need something else?

“Tell your man, ‘No, no, no, don’t worry. A sex toy can’t cuddle; a sex toy can’t kiss; it can’t give you compliments. “But it can add orgasmic intensity for a woman by stimulating key erogenous zones that a man doesn’t always find or doesn’t always know exist, such as the U-spot, the G-spot, the A-spot,** the perineum, all of these areas that are highly sensitive for women.”

"Vibrator beginners tend to get caught up in the mechanics of toys and whether they’ll get something wrong, so we recommend starting simple to assuage those fears. Think about a small clitoral vibrator without any bells and whistles that can be easily stashed away.

“The only way you know what you like is if you start and experiment" Simple sex toys, like blindfolds, can empower A women and actually distract them from any hangups they may have with their bodies.

“It’s even better for the ladies to blindfold their men, because that gives women more confidence,” once you blindfold your lover, you can do things and say things. "It liberates them.”

As for the ladies who are unsure if they want to look into sex toys for personal use? “It’s got to be better than going on a bad date. And it’s safer than a one-night stand, would you agree?

Once you’ve decided you’re willing to give sex toys a go, let your turn on's guide you on where to start.

Think about what turns you on and go from there.

Want to test the waters? Start with massage candles. Into the 50 Shades craze? Try a blindfold or a ben wa ball if you're adventurous. But a lot of women want to go straight to vibrators perhaps the infamous "rabbit vibe" we recommend start with a non-phallic clitoral vibrator or a silicone internal vibe. Men might tend to go for vibrating rings and masturbation sleeves, or they maybe the ones doing the shopping for a vibrator.

“At some point, most women discover that they are more likely to orgasm from clitoral stimulation than from vaginal, so products with vibration focused on that specific areas have become very popular. Next, think about how strong you want your vibrations. If it takes “a good while” for you to get off with your hand or you need a shower massager, go for more powerful vibrators. You should also look for quality construction and body-safe materials, like silicone.

“Then, throw any rational thinking aside and pick the one that tickles that sexy part of your imagination"


If you do plan to use the toy with a partner, it is recommended broaching the topic with him or her before buying anything. In fact, shopping together makes for a great “date. To bring it up with your partner, be direct. You can say things like, “I feel like sex toys will add more variety to our sex life” or “I’d like to experiment with a vibrator or a dildo. What do you think?”

You can also just ask your partner to come into the store or shop online with you and see what’s out there for the fun of it. Couples often start out by experimenting with anything from vibrators to cock rings to basic S&M kits (yes, some are more “basic” than others).

“Buying something really innovative that opens up conversation is probably better than just buying a dildo, which can be intimidating for the man and for the woman.

 But whatever you decide to buy, when you decide to buy, the biggest piece of advice about sex toys: have fun, relax and don’t judge yourself. It may be a bit awkward at first, but there’s absolutely no reason to be ashamed.

Leave a comment